1000 Days Sober!

With every milestone I walk up to with my admittedly goofball, clinically introverted 🤣, yet stout determination, I am thrilled to report that I still fear the hell out of alcohol.

There is no softening to the idea that, hey, maybe I got this sobriety thing in the bag. I know what waits for me if I don’t tend to God’s fire in my heart.

But I’m not talking about the dark side today. Today is for loving myself and letting nothing else in but light…

OK, who am I kidding. Enough of the metaphors and mushy talk for once.

You know how I’m going to celebrate tonight? In my room, with three cats and black out curtains AAAAND the PS5 I purchased for myself on Friday. It was so deliciously self-centered and deliberate. I was careful not to purchase even one single additional item that day.

48 years old and who knew I could still put Santa straight into my heart with my own two hands. 🤣This all might sound a bit silly and dramatic, but I am neurotic about spending money on myself. I rarely ever do it, even for things I need. So this purchase meant something to me, a kind of movement toward valuing my own happiness and just being bolder in claiming it.

Oddly enough, a fellow gamer walked by and asked if I bought that for me, as if an Angel on Earth wanted me to remember that yes, why yes, I did buy this for my solitary delight.

I didn’t leave ol’ Gabriel hanging, I just pivoted and gave him one of these:

The last thing I will say is that my celebrations are periodic bookends for so many other kinds of days. Happy days. Tired days. Emotionally devastated days, and all the same kinds of days everyone has. I feel the fullness and purpose of each one.

For whatever reason though, I am taking this 4 digit milestone and lifting it up like a trophy. I know what I have been through and I know how brutal I am to myself more often than not. So, even if it takes everything I have, I’m giving myself the grace to roll around in a little bit of victory today.

I will NEVER be healed, but I will also NEVER be broken. Thank you for being here. Thank you for supporting me. I am so damn grateful.

Please remember that I am here for all your stories, the light and the heavy, whatever you got, I’m here. You will always find me screaming on your sidelines too! ❤

Love,

Sobriety Poet