DAY 90!

Another milestone today. I approach this one with a little more reckless joy than the last, but I’m still too afraid to dive headlong into the deep of celebration. I trust that trepidation though so I’m honoring it. I’ve been selfish of late. Eating right, exercising, indulging all the whims of my weirdness. Amazon packages…

Day 74

Today was full of ups and downs and I can’t decide if all of it or none of it had anything to do with my disease. But I’ll leave out (at least for the time being) all the very painful, very personal components and focus solely on the good. I made my first home office…

Day 60 and a Very Happy Mother’s Day!

Milestone day has arrived, though it comes with a lingering, whopper of a cold and a broken coffee maker. O, the humanity! But more than 60 days ago, I wouldn’t even have cared about having coffee and I would already be sick. So, dang it, I am thrilled to make this report today! I almost…

My First Kiss

I wish I could remember how old we were or what grade we were in 3rd? 5th? I just wanted to get it right for you tonight on your birthday The fat pine tree that anchored your back when I leaned in The incense of sun-baked needles under our feet The roundness of your child’s…

Rilke’s Letter to a Young Poet (Day 50)

“just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better. In you, so much is happening now; you must be patient like someone who is sick, and confident like some one who is recovering; for perhaps you are both.”

You were here

On the way to my mailbox I saw this feather sprouting between the grass blades in my lawn. Half in shadow, half in light A reluctant imposter doing a poor job of blending in. I wondered briefly about the animal who left it there to live out its days disenfranchised and alone. A relic of…

Day 47

Just an observation before I settle into a stupid horror movie for my Sunday nightcap (sorry, terrible pun but I’m not editing this). I need to get this out for my own sake because one day I will read this as a sort of vitals check. A “where was I at and what was I…

If…

If you take a picture of the moon you will never be satisfied. If you walk barefoot in the grass your cats will sniff longingly after your toes. If you put your ear up against hundreds of leaves colliding in a breeze you will hear the ocean. If you can’t bring yourself to turn on…

White Orchids

White orchids don’t have Instagram accounts, much less fake ones posed in a pitcher for my cats to chew on. Still, I wondered yesterday if they long to be noticed and find it insufferable to go days at a time without a single soul snapping their picture. If you really think about it, it’s not…