If there’s one thing that recovering alcoholics excel at it’s self-flagellation. Maybe it’s not just recovering alcoholics, but any one of us mid-way through life’s journey lost in a dark wood. It seems the first thing we ask is what can I change? Should I lose weight. Read more. Travel. Fix up the house. Find…
One Year Sober!
The last time I tried to get sober, I remember feeling elated at my almost 6-month milestone. I felt then like one might expect I would feel today. But I don’t. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the strength that allowed me to arrive at this day, but my celebration is tempered by…
Latrodectus (Black Widow)
I gasped when I saw your body on the stucco wall A small shock of terror like when I saw a shark for the first time and suddenly became aware of things greater than myself I wanted to know everything about you immediately How you go days without breathing How you bond yourself effortlessly to…
6 Months Sober
“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.” Nightbirde
Day 124
It’s been awhile since I’ve checked in here so I simply wanted to say hello and extend my love and well wishes. I just passed my four month mark! I’m absolutely counting the days of course, but not with the same measure of desperation as I was in the beginning. I am still trying to…
DAY 90!
Another milestone today. I approach this one with a little more reckless joy than the last, but I’m still too afraid to dive headlong into the deep of celebration. I trust that trepidation though so I’m honoring it. I’ve been selfish of late. Eating right, exercising, indulging all the whims of my weirdness. Amazon packages…
Day 74
Today was full of ups and downs and I can’t decide if all of it or none of it had anything to do with my disease. But I’ll leave out (at least for the time being) all the very painful, very personal components and focus solely on the good. I made my first home office…
Day 60 and a Very Happy Mother’s Day!
Milestone day has arrived, though it comes with a lingering, whopper of a cold and a broken coffee maker. O, the humanity! But more than 60 days ago, I wouldn’t even have cared about having coffee and I would already be sick. So, dang it, I am thrilled to make this report today! I almost…
My First Kiss
I wish I could remember how old we were or what grade we were in 3rd? 5th? I just wanted to get it right for you tonight on your birthday The fat pine tree that anchored your back when I leaned in The incense of sun-baked needles under our feet The roundness of your child’s…
Rilke’s Letter to a Young Poet (Day 50)
“just bear in mind that sickness is the means by which an organism frees itself from what is alien; so one must simply help it to be sick, to have its whole sickness and to break out with it, since that is the way it gets better. In you, so much is happening now; you must be patient like someone who is sick, and confident like some one who is recovering; for perhaps you are both.”
Sobriety Poet 